In a recent episode of The Paul Goebel Show, I challenged listeners to come up with apt comparisons between the cast of Mad Men and NBA All Stars. A listener named Bob Lemmon took on the challenge and his brilliant comparisons are here.
Mad Men – NBA Jam All Stars of 1990′s:
Jared Harris – Karl Malone big presence, never quite comes through in the clutch. Some very dramatic failings (Malone got the ball stolen off him to seal the ’98 Finals defeat, etc).
Christina Hendricks – Hakeem Olaijuwon, big presence in the middle, could do absolutely everything, won 2 titles (when Jordan was out of the game)
Jon Slattery – Chris Mullin – really great point guard, dishing jokes and making passes (at french MILFs). But, Mullins hit the sauce too hard, and Roger is threatening to be serious LSD burnout
Rich Sommer – Charles Barkley. A little overweight, but energetic, and often the funniest guy in the room. Never won a title, but enteretained the masses.
John Hamm – Michael Jordan – how can he not be? Star of the show – when he’s not around, the show suffers, etc. Can do anything – humor, BIG drama, soft drama, romance, drunk, winning, losing, charming, buffoonish, it’s all there.
Elisabeth Moss – Scotty Pippen – underpaid, an assist-defense machine by Jordan’s side, but once Jordan left, tried to be The Man, only his coach undercut him. Kinda like how Peggy wasn’t really in charge of Creative while Don worked on Jaguar. But: Scotty would’ve never left Jordan’s team to play with another.
**Elisabeth Moss -John Stockton – workmanlike. Always facilliates others (assists record holder) into great success. Had a few personal successes, nothing overwhelming. Secretly a VERY dirty player – think about how she ripped out Pete’s heart with the “i could have had you” speech. Could’ve left to play with actual Champion teams anytime, never left Salt Lake City.
Vincent Kartheiser – John Starks – impulsive, Napoleonic egotist who got the Knicks in some trouble when he couldn’t beat the more glamorous/better-liked Reggie Miller. But he could score, and was loved in NYC. Some think he’s completely unlikable, some love him.
Alison Brie – Patrick Ewing – John Starks’ biggest defender, and everybody loved him. He could never do anything substantial by himself, but put up huge points and really kept Starks from going off the deep end. Also: secretly the biggest star of the ’90s who nobody talks about (anymore, at least).
Aaron Staton – Reggie Miller – Pissed off rivals, he’s good looking, funny, charming, SCORES AT WILL. Never won the big one, but very close. Starks’ teams went farther in the playoffs, usually, but everyone LOVES Reggie.
Julia Ormond- Toni Kukoc – A fresh face, welcome addition that breathes some life into the league. Won’t be around long, probably.
Sally Draper – Kobe Bryant – just entered the league in the ’90s, shows a lot of promise.
Betty Draper – Penny Hardaway – Started off great, lotta flash & good looks, but got hurt and became much worse/less useful as time went on.
Jane Sterling – Christian Laettner – looked great coming out of college, charismatic to a few, but didn’t no one was very happy with the end product.
Megan Draper – Shawn Kemp – just a machine, love to watch her work, doing things no one else on the show can do (body, laugh, smile) – but Kemp got pissy over money, lost his drive, and it was over almost as quickly as it began.
Duck Phillips – Latrell Sprewell – Fighter, whole lotta bluster, never did anything of note. Wrote notes his ass couldn’t cash.
Mona Sterling – Pat Riley – had his heyday in the previous decade, still hanging around, looking decent, doing what he can with less (’90s Knicks instead of ’80s Showtime Lakers)
Ben Feldman (Ginsburg)- David Robinson. Scoring titles, stability, nice guy who just wants to be loved.
Michael Gladis – Dennis Rodman kind of a weird dude who’ll follow the trendsBob Lemmon, Elisabeth Moss, Jon Hamm, king of tv, Mad Men, NBA, Paul Goebel, TV